Lately I've been pushing aside my God time way too much. Because I'm not on my normal schedule there is an endless supply of excuses I can use but mostly I say, "How can I get anything out of this if I don't even want to do it?" Then say a quick prayer asking God to make me want to and push aside the knowledge that what I'm doing is wrong. The other night I was telling my iron sister how sometimes God gives me a certain determination to do something but without I can't do anything. She kinda looked at me funny and a little while later brought the subject up again and simply told me that she didn't think I needed that determination to do stuff. This wasn't what I wanted to hear and unsettled me a little because deep down I was well aware she was right.
I had recognized that my heart wasn't where it should be but didn't want to make any effort to move it so I asked God to do all the work. But, the thing about God is that He never forces us to do anything. He always lets us take the first step and then helps us from there. It's kind of like those pictures where Jesus has His hand out and we just need to reach up about an inch and grab it before He pulls us up. While my heart was in the wrong place, the small movement towards God was able to shift it just a little back to where it belongs!
So, if you are ever acting like me and making excuses to push away your time with God, know that the feeling when you truly go back to Him is so gratifying that you can't fully understand why you were making excuses in the first place!
p.s. This is an awesome example of why it is so great to have an accountability partner to always point you in the right direction!
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