When I look around me I often think I'm really not that bad. Yeah I mess up but, relatively speaking, I'm much better than the majority of earth's population. I'm am certainly not a despicable person of base character. In fact, I've been told exactly the opposite. And I love hearing that kind of praise!
Unfortunately, all those compliments I receive are not turned into praise to God. I don't immediately thank Him for turning me around and helping me live like JC. Instead, I glow with pride, taking all God's credit. The truth of the matter is that the more God works in my life, the less I feel like I need Him and the more I push Him away. In fact, the moments where I am completely sold out for Jesus are quite fleeting and I often wind up feeling fake. But, I can comfort myself with the fact that I'm not (as I mentioned earlier) a despicable person of base character, though if I truly believe that fact, then I'm a liar.
A popular hymn, Amazing Grace, goes like this, "Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound, that saved a wretch like me." I've sung this countless times and, in doing so, called myself a wretch. The definition for wretch is a despicable person of base character. As a liar falls into this category, there is no alternative for me, I am or was despicable. And right now I'd go with am.
As fine as I think I am, if I were to go to heaven uncured of sin, it would reveal who I truly am. After all, good and bad are relative terms but perfect is perfect wherever you are, whomever you with.
So, if you ever feel the need to renew your relationship with Jesus, don't rush it but prioritize it so that when it gets tough, your relationship remains #1. I'm trying to take my own advice right now and now know that the best way to start is to say you're sorry.
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